Prince Kyle of Jewtopia
by moonlitelm
Summary: Eric presents the story he wrote for writers craft, to the class. Not everyone is very pleased with the path his story takes.


AN: Well, here we are again guys. I haven't been able to focus on the sequel to Upside Down, so I'm going to start working on something else until I can get good ideas for it. Sorry for the wait, and the fact that I keep pushing the 'deadline' back further and further. It's just super hard for me to concentrate some times.

_This for story_

This for...normal? .o.

**Writers Craft**

"All right class, settle down." Mrs Clearwater called, waving a hand absently in her students' direction. They quieted grudgingly, somewhat eager to get on with the days lesson.

For the past two months, the teens in Clearwater's writers craft course had been working on writing their own short novels. The rest of their semester would be dedicated to reading aloud (for their speech marks) and then editing a peer's novel one final time (for their writing marks)

All in all, they were excited. They had been given the freedom to write about whatever they chose – so long as it wasn't too graphic, Mrs Clearwater had said – in whichever style they chose. Kyle and Wendy were the most enthusiastic about the project, until they saw who got to go first.

Eric.

"No doubt fatass is going to ruin it for everyone." Wendy hissed into Kyle's ear, managing to continue glaring at Eric, as he walked to the front of the classroom. Kyle nodded in agreement and leaned away from her, catching Mrs Clearwater giving them a confused frown.

He flashed her a dazzling smile, then turned the smile onto Eric. The corners of his mouth twitched, wanted desperately to curl into a sneer, but Kyle somehow managed to keep up the bright appearance. Wendy looked over at him when she heard his teeth grinding.

Eric cleared his throat at the front of the class, fanning himself with a hardcover copy of his book.

_Pfft, show off_ Clyde grumbled in his head, lying down on his desk. His elbow slid onto Craig's, and the black haired boy tried to shove his arm away.

It failed, seeing how one of them played football and the other was a stoner.

Eric cleared his throat, drawing all eyes to himself once more. "First, my dedications." His gaze swept the room twice before he started again, "I dedicate this story to the _lovely_ Mrs Clearwater, and to all my friends – Stan, Kinneh and Clyde. This story is not, however, dedicated to Kahl." He focused his gaze on Kyle, "Because I hate him. He is a stupid, good for nothing –"

"Mister Cartman" The teacher interrupted hurriedly, not wanting the boys to break out into another fight. "The story, if you will."

Eric offered her a charming smile, nodding his head lightly. "Yes of course Mrs Clearwater, how silly of me. While this story is not dedicated to Kahl, I would nonetheless like to thank him for being the key to my inspiration." He grinned darkly, amber coloured eyes nearly black with glee. "My story is called, Prince Kyle of Jewtopia."

"Oh for the love of-" Kyle started, before being interrupted by Eric.

"Kahl. I'm trying to tell my story, Kahl. I wouldn't interrupt you, if you were telling _your_ story Kahl."

Kyle rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, slouching in his seat. Wendy gave him a sympathetic look, reaching over to pat his arm gently. "I know Ky. I know." She said gravely, face serious.

Everyone else in the class had leaned forward at the announcement of the title. Seeing Eric and Kyle go at it like cats and dogs was _amazing_. None of them would pass it up for napping.

Eric flicked a CD player on, and soft 'zen' music filled the room. Mrs Clearwater gave him a confused look, but he merely ignored her. Taking a deep breath, he began telling his story.

_In a land that lived years before our time, a young prince was severely ill. He was bedridden, with cramps more horrible than any had ever seen. He couldn't move from the bed, and his room had to be constantly black. Any light that slipped in sent the young prince into hysterics, screaming about the pain it caused in his head._

_News traveled to the kings of Awesomeland. Eric and Clyde, as they were known to their adoring subjects, could solve any problem that was handed to them. Gentle Clyde was the one who sympathized with the peasants, while Genius Eric came up with witty solutions._

"Jesus Christ, you've got to be kidding me." Kyle muttered, burying his face into his hands. Eric ignored him, and continued on.

_Awesomeland's military leader, Token Black, was the one to bring the news to the kings. "My Lord's," he started, sweeping downwards in a flourished bow, "As you have ordered, I was traveling to the distant kingdoms of Jewtopia and its surrounding lands."_

"_Hurry up Black." The magnificent King Eric said, waving a hand at his loyal subject. "What did you find out?" He leaned forward in his seat, looking majestic, and brilliant, in his brightly coloured robes._

"I think I'm going to be sick." Wendy growled to Kyle, nose wrinkled in disgust.

"_Well my Lord." Token cleared his throat, straightening up once more. "The eldest prince of Jewtopia, Kahl, is very ill. He is bedridden, with the most horrible cramps imaginable. His parents have put him under quarantine, for they fear it may be contagious. I was speaking to their head of military, a Stanley Marsh, and he was the one who explained it to me. Apparently Stanley and Prince Kahl were quite good friends, before the Prince became ill."_

_King Clyde nodded slowly as he listened. When Token finished his tale, King Clyde turned to his brother. "We have to help. Maybe offering our aid to the royals of Jewtopia will allow us to build a treaty with them. It could strengthen our borders." He offered, smiling innocently._

"_Very well." King Eric nodded as well, rising to his feet. Token backed away, bowing low again. "Black, gather some men and a carriage. We'll leave in the morning." _

_The palace was buzzing with energy that night as the kings slept. Everyone worked hard to make sure that the kings would be entirely comfortable for the journey they were about to embark._

_In the morning, King Eric was woken up by a gentle knocking at the door. "My Lord, may I come in?" A sultry voice called. King Eric smiled and made an affirmative noise._

_The palace doctor, Wendy, entered the room slowly, eyes downcast. "My Lord, I come here to beg that you take me on this journey with you. I would love to advance my knowledge of medicine, and I want to help you with your quest to find out what is wrong with Prince Kahl." _

Wendy's jaw dropped in horror, and she turned to stare at Stan. He was looking back at her, smiling sheepishly.

She mouthed to him 'Do something you asshole!'

Stan shrugged, rubbing the back of his neck, before he looked back down at his desk. Wendy made an aggravated noise and slammed her head down onto her desk, hell bent on becoming deaf and not having to hear another word from Eric's retarded story.

_The kind King agreed to allow Wendy to come on the trip, on the condition that she do him a favour. Wendy nodded and began to walk towards the bed –_

"Okay! Mister Cartman, let's skip this part." Mrs Clearwater said, her eyes wide in shock and horror.

"But Miss, it's nothing bad." Eric said innocently, before returning to his book.

_Wendy nodded and began to walk towards the bed, to give her king a massage. As he was a very busy king, he was often very tense. _

_After the massage, the two set off together. They went to the courtyard, where Kinneh McCormick, Token's second in command, offered Wendy the reins of a gorgeous black horse. "M'lady." He said, eyeing her up and down in a lewd fashion._

Kenny laughed in the back of the class, giving Craig a high five. "Score!"

_Wendy mounted her house as the kings stepped into their carriage. There was blankets, a basket of food, and a bottle of wine. "All the comforts of home." Token said as he closed the carriage door, and went to take his place in the front._

_The kings could hear Token and Kinneh talking about Wendy's supersmokinghotrack, which neither of the kings thought was very attractive at all. They ignored their servants, and instead dined inside their carriage. Both had missed breakfast, and the basket of food was eaten over talk about Jewtopia._

"Hey!" Stan snapped finally. "Stop talking about Wendy!"

Eric rolled his eyes, "It's just a story Stanley."

"Listen here fatass-"

"Mister Marsh! Calm yourself down, or you can take a trip to the principal's office. You have no right to trample over Eric's freedom of speech!"

Stan's jaw dropped. "Are you – I think..." He turned to face Kenny. "She's deranged." He exclaimed, eyes wide.

Kenny shook his head. "Nah, Eric's just bonin' her nice and –"

"Both of you get to the principal's office. **Now.**"

They sighed together and stood, gathering their books as they stormed out of the class. Wendy and Bebe exchanged a look before lowering their heads to their desks once more.

"Well, at least he tried." Kyle soothed, rubbing Wendy's back softly.

_The trip took a full two days, and the people of Awesomeland only took breaks when the night fell, and it became too dark to see. They arrived at the border of Jewtopia, only to be greeted by none other than Stanley Marsh._

"_Token!" The black haired man cried, walking towards the group of Awesomelandians. "What brings you back so soon?" He asked, although his eyes were focused on the gorgeous Wendy._

Wendy gagged again, closing her eyes tightly while her hands found their way over her ears.

"_We came here to speak to your Lord." The amazing King Eric replied quickly, stepping towards the military man. _

"_Oh, our Lord does not speak to people, only our Lady has that privilege" Stanley replied, turning to lead them through the walls of the kingdom. "May I ask why you're here, mighty Sire?"_

"_We have come to help cure Prince Kahl's illness." King Eric explained, head held high. As they approached the palace, he moved to walk ahead of Stanley, not wanting to be seen following a servant like a lost dog. Servants were meant to follow, not __**be**__ followed. _

"_What?! What is this?!" A hideous, ear shattering voice screeched from somewhere up ahead._

_King Eric and King Clyde stared in horror as a disgusting looking woman trotted towards them. She had giant red hair, and her face was splattered with dark spots. She looked diseased._

"Cartman stop ripping on my mom!" Kyle cried from the back of the room. He fell silent as the teacher gave him a dirty look. "Fuck." He muttered, slamming his head forcefully onto his desk. The bang didn't take anyone's attention away from Eric. They were all on the edges of their seats, eager to see what would happen next.

"_Ma'am...Sir?...You! We have come to help find the cure for Prince Kahl's illness!" King Clyde cried out, trying to look anywhere but the horrific she-man in front of them._

_It sneered, and nodded, turning to lead them to the Prince's room. "Thank you so much for coming to see Kahl. I'm sure he'll be __**so**__ happy to see you."_

"_Wendy. You're the doctor. You go see what's wrong." King Eric told his faithful subject, as he, Clyde and Wendy entered the room. Token followed behind, to make sure no one inside would assassinate his gorgeous Kings. _

_Wendy walked over to the bed, and spoke to Prince Kahl in a soft tone. She asked him many questions about what was wrong, then peeked under the blanket at his body. Finally, she turned to her audience, prepared to announce the ailment._

"_You know what's wrong?" The she-man, who they had found out was Lady Sheila, asked in her screeching tone._

_Wendy nodded at the creature, a confused smile on her face. "Prince Kahl isn't a boy, he's a girl. She's PMS'ing."_

_The end._

Kyle leapt from his seat, eyes filled with rage. "That's it! I'm going to kill you fatass! I am _not _PMS'ing!" He screamed, face red.

Eric rolled his eyes as he tossed the book onto Mrs Clearwater's desk, heading for the door. "Get the sand out of your vagina Princess." He chirped over his shoulder, before closing the door with a resounding bang.

Mrs Clearwater cleared her throat, nervously eyeing the remainder of her class. "Well...whose next?"


End file.
